Plane – paralyzedbynotcaring

Helpful Items, Part II

The advice “travel light” is not without merit, but I do recommend considering packing the following items for any extended trip. I was either glad I brought this stuff or had to buy it on the fly.

Hand Fan

Yes, it rained A LOT during my trip, but there was enough sun and heat to make a spur-of-the-moment purchase of a street vendor hand fan a life-changing event. Even if it’s not that warm outside, walking for miles and hauling your pack around is sweaty work. And buses? Sweaty. Very, very sweaty. A/C is not so much of a thing in Europe as it is here, so you have to make your own wind, just like Tyra Banks intended.

Pocket Mirror

Another golden impulse buy—the pocket mirror saved me from countless embarrassments. Blotting my sweaty face with paper napkins almost always shredded the napkin and left huge pieces of lint fluttering on my face. And with the wind and rain, everyone needs to know what the hell is going on with their hair before they step into a nice restaurant. Also, you can signal people with sunlight if you get bored.

Scarf

You may have noticed I am not especially fashion minded. Probably this is due to the fact that fashionable clothing is not made in my a) size or b) budget, so I have given up and wear basically the same thing every day. Yes, I brought six identical black tank tops to Europe. Not having to worry about putting together an outfit only gave me more time to explore and eat new foods. I brought a scarf, but it wasn’t an infinity scarf and kept falling off. I gave up on it and bought an infinity scarf from a street vendor at the gay pride event in Hamburg. Dad loved shopping there so it was extra special. My advice, bring one or two infinity scarves to change up your wardrobe. They won’t fall off and you’ll look at least slightly different in your pictures. Plus, they are light and easy to pack.

Umbrella
Invest in one that won’t turn inside out and backwards. I never found one.

Dry Shampoo
*Cue the Hallelujah music* Dry Shampoo! If you haven’t already joined the dry shampoo revolution, you have a wonderful surprise in store. You do not have to be a slave to long showers and the hairdryer anymore. I use this brand, which I recommend if you can stomach the price. This brand is less expensive and nearly as effective, though dry shampoo in general can smell and feel gnarly. Try a few out before you decide what works for you. If the first three or four do not work—DO NOT GIVE UP. There are loads of options, and the time and energy saved by using dry shampoo cannot be overstated. Still not convinced? Observe the picture above. That’s 4th or possibly 5th day hair. This is my life now. I can’t imagine getting up an hour earlier every day to wash, condition, gel, mousse, protect, dry, then curl my hair. Forget it.

Eye shade
I am a napper, so using an eye shade is nothing new to me. I used an eye shade on the plane and a few trains, but it mostly came in handy in my actual Airbnbs as I was trying to sleep at night—it stayed lighter A LOT later in northern Europe and it screwed up my sleeping schedule (go to sleep early and sleep in as late as possible). This particular shade has convex areas for your eyelashes so you don’t wake up with bedhead on your face.

Pocket Kleenex
This one is probably pretty obvious, but I went through a lot more Kleenex than I thought I would. Pack triple what you think you need. I ended up using this not only for sneezes, but for napkins, blotting paper, and toilet paper.

Handkerchief
I had my dad bring me an actual handkerchief because I was going through so much Kleenex just blotting my face. A handkerchief is greener, classier, and won’t leave lint all over your lip hairs.

Benedryl
So they don’t have the same drugs in Europe. For over the counter stuff, bring what you like to use, but also bring Benedryl. You never know what exciting new pollen you’ll be allergic to, and Benedryl can double as a sleep aid.

Books
I brought The Stand and Daisy Miller and Other Stories knowing I’d trash them or leave them behind as I finished them. The Stand was very satisfying to finish because it cleared up so much room in my bag. Bring a few paperbacks you know will be entertaining but not lifelong companions. I bought a few books while on the road, too, trying to keep this same philosophy.

Things I Thought I’d Use But Didn’t

Compass
I brought a small compass, but I used the compass app on my phone almost exclusively. I forgot I even had a real compass.

Reusable Water Bottle
I was gung-ho to go green and use this collapsible water bottle, but ultimately it just made more sense to reuse regular water bottles, and then recycle them when they became unwieldy.

Bungee
Several travel blogs suggested this adjustable cord to help you hang your laundry, but I never needed it. The Airbnbs always had a rack or a lot of closet space where I could hang things to dry.

Earplugs
I am an earplugs advocate, and even though there were some loud nights, I didn’t like using the ear plugs when I was travelling—I wanted to be alerted to the noises around me. The exception was when Dad and I shared a hotel room. He snores. A lot.

Inflatable Travel Neck Pillow
I love the idea of this pillow and used it on my redeye from SFO to Madrid, but I never really fell asleep. The pillow shifts ever so slightly as you finally relax your neck on to it, even when the pillow is secured in front. It’s just not that comfortable. I do like that I could deflate it to take up less space in my bag, though, and for that reason alone it is superior to other U-shaped travel pillows.

Take what you will from this. Remember, whatever you packed is what’s going with you.

Helpful Items, Part I

Being away from your comfort zone and all your usual comfort objects eventually becomes stressful. For me it was stressful after about 40 minutes. Here are some things I packed that made travelling a bit easier.

Portable cell phone charger
This was a life saver. If you take only one thing I recommend, take this. My phone was my map and my notepad and my audio book player, so I was using it constantly. Like any cell phone these days, my iPhone 6s does not have a great battery life. I combated the dwindling % gauge with this portable charger, which holds 2-3 full charges before it has to be recharged itself. Now, the charging isn’t super fast and having your phone connected to it as you use your phone to navigate can be a bit of a tangled pain when you are also using earphones, but the alternative is death. The only drawback is the grey cord this portable charger uses to charge itself is small, unique to this device (no regular old USB cord will do) and easy to lose. Do what I did and keep all your cords in the same gallon ziplock bag.

Gallon Ziplock Bags
Yes, there are many bags out there for holding your makeup, toiletries, shoes, food, and whatever, but I quickly found that being able to see into the bag saved a lot of time and frustration. I packed about six Ziplock bags and had Dad bring me six more when he met me in Copenhagen (they don’t last forever and once a shampoo explodes, that bag is pretty done with life). I would recommend at least bringing a dozen. They are lightweight, take up almost no space, and it’s much better to have them and not need them.

Travel Adapter
I brought two of these travel adapters and they worked everywhere I went (Spain, France, Belgium, Netherlands, Germany, Czech Republic, Denmark, Latvia, England, and Ireland—I didn’t charge anything in Sweden so I can’t be sure they would work there). You can use the usual two- or three- pronged electric plug and/or a regular USB. I had to figure out how to use all the different prongs in the back—or maybe VR helped me—but once I had that down, it was all good. I am glad I brought two so I could charge all of my items overnight if I wanted/needed to. The only problem is these are a bit bulky.

Earbuds
Bring at least two pairs. I went through three—using them for hours every day inevitably lead to their untimely demise. Don’t buy expensive ones like I did. Just get some cheap ones from the checkout counter at Walgreens.

International Cell Phone
I wasn’t going to bring one of these—it seemed excessively over-prepared to do so, but I ended up using my international cell phone a lot when some one ripped off my ATM number and my debit card was rendered inactive. Calling Wells Fargo was a horrible experience, and I can’t imagine how much more stressful it would have been had I not even had a phone to do so with. I got the JT phone on the suggestion of CC, and am REALLY glad I did. You just add more minutes as needed by buying more on their website. This of course requires a credit card—luckily I had another one as I was going through the Wells Fargo malarkey.

Tablet
I brought two phones, a laptop, and a tablet with me, which even to me seemed like too much. I thought bringing my Kindle was a bit indulgent, but it actually was one of my most soothing comfort objects in that I could watch American television via Netflix or Amazon Prime. Sometimes at the end of a long day of culture and history I just needed to watch Teen Wolf.

Woolite Individual Laundry Packets
Staying in Airbnbs with a washer available saved a lot of time and stress—I can barely function in an American laundromat, imagine me dealing with a soap dispenser machine that doesn’t even speak English. No thank you. Filter your Airbnb search to places with washers available (dryers too if you’re not staying more than a few days—laundry needs at least 24 hours to air dry in my experience) and have these handy packets with you. Woolite is gentle on your clothes and works with all fabrics (all that I wear, anyway). I definitely used less laundry soap as I was travelling so as to ration these, but if you pack enough, you can use the usual excessive amount. Also, even if you don’t have a washer, one packet of Woolite will do for a quick wash of your underthings in the sink and the crotch area of your jeans. One relevant thing I noticed: many European places have heated racks for hanging laundry to dry on. They may actually just be towel warmers, but I used them to speed the drying process.

Antibacterial Gel
I didn’t end up using as much antibac as I thought I would, but there were definite times I was desperate to de-germ. I would pack two or three of these (I ended up losing one and another one was taken at the airport because GASP! LIQUID!) for those especially dirty moments.

More essential items on the way.

Travel Apps, Part II

Once you know what you want to do, sometimes just figuring out what it takes to do it can be paralyzing. Here are some apps that helped me get my shit together and figure out how to take my head out of my ass. Weird image, just forget it.

Xe Currency Exchange

I’m an English major, you do the math. But really, who can convert currencies all the time? Even given the EU, I used five different currencies as I travelled, and this app helped give me an idea of how much 200 Czech korunas is in real money or what to expect once I change my folding money at the exchange booth at the airport (hint: don’t do it there) (hint II: no one wants your coins, so spend them all before you leave the country or end up with ziplock sacks full of foreign coinage like me).

Yandex Translate

Also like me, maybe you don’t speak any language other than English. There are a quadrillion translation apps out there, and a lot of them are terrible. The most useful one I found is Yandex Translate, which helped with French, German, Dutch, and Spanish. These are just the languages I used—there are loads others. Download the languages you’ll be using and you can translate from there to English and back. It was useful to review some basic words on the train before I arrived somewhere—please, thank you, hello, goodbye, and English were about all I could handle—but people seemed to appreciate even that small effort. Most of the people I encountered spoke at least a little English, but it can’t be taken for granted that wherever you go, people will know what you’re saying. This app was also ace at helping me translate street names, words on menus, and directions. The other two translation apps I used are Google Translate and iThinkdiff Czech Dictionary.

Rail Planner

Of all the apps, this one was probably the most crucial to the success (… er, completion?) of my trip. This is the app Interrail and Eurail users are advised to download to track and plan train times, and it doesn’t require wifi. You don’t have to actually have a Eurail pass to use this train app, so if you are just looking to ride the rails one day, this is still for you; just throw in your starting point and ending point, date and time of travel, and get the relevant train schedules. Now, this was NOT helpful when the trains were on strike. Also, you cannot buy or reserve train tickets via the app (so, so annoying). Because of this, you have to do a reality check about whether the trains are a) actually running and b) sold out. It gave me a ball park idea about my schedule though, and what to aim for when I went to the long distance/international tickets booth at the train station to reserve tickets. If the clerk didn’t speak English (common, though Eurail would have you believe otherwise—bleg!), I could easily bring up the schedule I wanted on the app for the clerk to view. If there was no room on that train (uncommon but it did happen), I could easily modify my search to a slightly different time and have the clerk check again. You could also filter results by direct trains (no layovers) and view which trains were high speed. Another feature I didn’t notice at first was that once you select a schedule, you can view each stop between your departure and destination. This was helpful to me because I like to watch each stop go by and confirm and double confirm that I am indeed on the right train. You may call this a bit obsessive, but it helped when my father put us on the fast track to the north pole on accident. I was able to confirm and double confirm that he was totally wrong and then find another train. I was in charge of all trains from then on. Also, this app includes long distance bus schedules.

Uber

Uber is not a company I want to exalt, but for sheer convenience sometimes it can’t be beat. When you don’t speak the language, calling a taxi is even more intimidating than usual. With Uber, you can type in your destination (or paste it from Yelp) and wait for your ride. Now, Uber only works if you have wifi at the pick up point, so you might have to find a Starbucks or McDonald’s to start from. But after a long day of walking, sometimes you just want to Uber your ass back to your hotel/Airbnb/friend’s couch. Now, Uber does not operate everywhere. Uber was banned in Germany during my time there, and the articles I read about it suggested using MyTaxi app instead. BEWARE! You have to have wifi at both the pickup AND drop off locations. I didn’t have wifi at my drop off location, which happened to be a park, and I had to pay in cash on the spot—not what I had planned! People always say “don’t carry a lot of cash” but honestly had I not always been carrying a significant amount of money with me, I would have been screwed several times (credit card getting declined, restaurant not accepting any credit cards, etc.).

TripIt

I read about Tripit while researching what apps are good to have as you travel. I ended up purchasing the pro version of this app—something I almost never do. TripIt is an itinerary organizer. You forward your confirmation emails (flight, hotel, airbnb, event tickets) to plans@tripit.whatever, and the app organizes your information. All your confirmation codes, addresses, and contact info is in one area. Once you download the app, you can access your travel info offline. The pro feature keeps you updated on gate changes for your flight and other last minute alerts. You can also share your itinerary with your friends, so they can easily look up your flight number to see if yours was the plane that crashed. Tripit was a great substitute for my usual hard-copy folder full of confirmation emails (a system I still prefer but could not maintain without a printer), and though it required intermittent wifi, I never failed to figure out how to use it. I still use it now just to organize my hotel reservations back here in reality.

City Mapper

For getting around in London, City Mapper is the app to use. It has other cities as well, but I used it only for London, and it helped me navigate the buses and underground. Like Rail Planner, you can put in your starting and ending points and get suggestions for how to get there. London is HUGE, so be prepared to take a bus to the underground to another bus to another bus, but all the while you can track your progress on City Mapper. Wifi is needed though, so I took a screen shot of the route to refer to. Also, you have to have an Oyster card to ride the bus, so look into how to get one of those before you hop on a double decker. Individual tickets for the underground can be purchased at ticket kiosks though, so go nuts, but mind the gap.

Health

There’s an app that comes with the iPhone that is called “health” and has a heart icon. This was fun only in that it tracked how far I walked. At first it was interesting to see what a change it was from my real life, but eventually I learned that after six miles, I was pretty much done, so I could make decisions on where I wanted to go based on how far I’ve come, and at what point I will poop out. Know your limits and all that.

Lonely Planet Guides

I occasionally used Lonely Planet Guides for ideas on what to do. Many times there were things not mentioned by TripAdvisor or Yelp, notably Faust House in Prague, but mostly this app would be useful to someone planning far in advance. My on-the-go day-by-day w-t-f planning didn’t dovetail with the lay out of this app, though it is very pretty and informative.

Apps I thought I’d Use But Didn’t

I did a lot of research about what apps to download prior to my trip, and these two were suggested again and again.

SmartTraveler

This is an app probably put out by the US government to help Americans as they travel. You select a country and then can find the embassies and consulate offices there along with safety information. It is a very dry read. I considered using it once when I thought I might have to contact my embassy when my debit card got stolen, but thankfully I didn’t have to handle it that way. It’s not a bad app to have, just in case.

Rick Steves Audio Europe

How annoying is Rick Steves? I listened to several podcasts from this app before I left, but found them lacking in both entertainment and informational value. Maybe if you have loads, and I mean loads, of time to plan, you can slash your way through all these podcasts, but reading his Europe through The Back Door was more than enough. He sounds like a morning person who has never been delayed by a hair emergency. I just can’t deal with that type of person.

There were several apps that I deleted along the way due to their utter uselessness, but I can’t remember what they were. Good luck out there in the app store!

The British Library, the V&A Museum, and a Goodbye

Yesterday I visited the British Library, which houses not only stories and stories of books, but also an exhibition of rare prints. Some of my favorites were sketchings by Da Vinci, first editions of Shakespeare’s epic poems, another copy of that darned Magna Carta, and really old maps, one of which I recognized as being of Amsterdam before I saw the label (first intellectual benefit of this trip confirmed!). There were plenty of other books as well–religious texts, scientific notebooks, musical notations, you name it. One thing about London that I really like is that exhibits like this are free to the public (donation box by the door).

This sculpture of William Shakespeare greets you upon entering the library. This pose is so contrived–I wonder if he didn’t flop down on his belly, quill all agog, and make furious notes on the floor by the fire.

One rarity I was able to take a picture of was outside the main exhibition room. this is a really old book in an oyster shell.

That’s a binding you don’t see every day.

In the center of the library this column of books spans the height of the building.

I’m not sure how these books are accessed unless it’s automated. Surrounding this center piece you can find individual work stations. The actual reading rooms are in wings on each corner of the library, but you need a reading pass to get in to those rooms. I didn’t investigate getting a reading pass because I didn’t want to talk to anyone and I was afraid there would be a test. Anyway, the library was certainly an interesting place to visit regardless.

There was a PUNK exhibit outside the main exhibit hall dedicated to mostly Sex Pistols paraphernalia. The explanatory sign sports some of my favorite graffiti to date.

Someone was a Slits fan (The Slits were an all-girl punk band, contemporaries of the Sex Pistols).

Today was my last full day in London/England/Europe.

I went to the Victoria and Albert Museum as part of my goodbye London tour. This museum has a little of everything and an especially good sculpture collection.

This guy seemed to be having a great time.

I found St. George, hard at work against the dragon as per usually.

And this sparkling example of mythological insanity.

If you’re like me, you blocked the story of how Apollo SKINNED Marsyas alive as a punishment for losing a musical contest.

Here is a portrait of Henry VIII, who couldn’t/wouldn’t keep a wife.

I need some strong weaponry to protect me from such a ladies man.

Don’t worry, the V&A has you covered.

I also found an alcove of old books that did NOT have a “no photos” sign–amazing.

I even found a weirdo Jesus.

In case you weren’t sure what was going down, that skull and crossbones should clear it up.

After the museum, I got off the metro at the London Bridge station and walked along the Thames. Today was a beautiful, sunny, warm day.

London has seemed the most like home with KB and all the mostly English speak. I feel strange leaving. Tomorrow by this time I will be on American soil once again. No more squinting at foreign coins, no more Googling tipping customs or bus ticket kiosk locations. No more jamming as much culture into my day as possible before curling up on a new bed and waiting to see if sleep will come. No more DEMON.

“Back to reality” people have said, but dealing with navigating new cities, new countries, new challenges has been more real than any normal day in Belmont. I don’t know how this will change my reality, if at all. I will have to wait and see.

Tomorrow I fly to North Carolina.

I am reading 11/22/63 by Stephen King.

I am at the airport

looking at pictures I took today of Dublin Castle. A bit of a misleading name as the castle burned down a million years ago. Earlier today I took a tour through the complex and learned how the vikings took care of business in Dublin for a really long time. Here is the (now underground) outer wall of a viking fortification.

Back on the surface, we looked at the chapel and the tower, which is the oldest above-ground part of the re-built castle.

You may notice above the smallest window there towards the right a stone head looks out over the courtyard. Here’s a closer view.

That’s the door to the chapel, and right above it is St. Peter holding the keys to heaven. So who could POSSIBLY be above St. Peter?

That would be Ireland’s darling, Jonathan Swift. That’s right, he’s ranking above St. Peter himself. That must have been an interesting conversation at heaven’s gate.

The chapel is no longer used for church services, but several episodes of the crowd-pleaser show The Tudors were filmed inside.

After we spent a reasonable amount of time contemplating the Duke of Suffolk, we walked to the state rooms where the British viscounts used to live until a hundred years ago. Now the building is used for official state business and tourists.

Here is the hallway.

Here is the dining room.

Here is a crazy chandelier in the throne room comprised of a bronze braid of thistle, rose, and shamrocks symbolizing the unity of Scotland, England, and Ireland.

From here though it just looks like feathers, am I right?

Another hour or so until I have to worry about boarding the plane. Until then I will be lamenting the lack of monkey news now that the Ricky Gervais Show is long over.

Whiskey and writing

Today I walked over the river Liffey to visit the Old Jameson Distillery.

That’s me there blocking the view of the river. The main whiskey production happens in Cork now, but the Jameson site in Dublin still sells the good stuff. I picked up some samples.

While walking around the northern part of Dublin, I found a mail box. It’s the closest thing to a leprechaun that I’ve seen so far.

The Dublin Writer’s Museum was only a walk away, and if you can believe it, not terribly crowded!

No pictures were allowed inside, but I was able to view many first editions, personal letters (written in old-timey cursive that I honestly cannot decipher), and a few artifacts like playbills and typewriters. The bust of Shaw was my favorite because he was such a hairy bastard.

The expected writers were extolled: Swift, Shaw, Beckett, Stoker, Joyce, Wilde, and Heaney, but I also took down notes on some books for my To Read list. These included Knocknagow by Charles Kickham, Melmoth the Wanderer by Charles Robert Maturin, Some Experience of an Irish RM by Somerville, and At Swim Two Birds by Flann O’Brien.

While walking about I came across two more literary points (pints?) of interest.

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This is a small inlay on the sidewalk on Grafton Street.

This is a life sized sculpture of the larger-than-life Oscar Wilde.

It looks like his head turned towards me in that second picture. Could he be any cooler.

Yesterday I went to the Guinness factory and then on the literary pub crawl so basically today was a repeat of booze then books because this is Ireland and that’s how it goes.

Tomorrow night I fly back to London.

It is a truth universally acknowledged

that any blog post in possession of amateur photography must be in want of a patron.

Viv and I drove from London to Chawton to visit the house where Jane Austen spent the last years of her (too short) life. The brick house has been converted into a museum. From the road, it looks like this.

The rooms are compartmentalized (I guess the open floor plan wasn’t yet a trend), but the house is somewhat spacious.

Here is the plaque on the front of the house.

There was at least one other male visitor here, so Viv wasn’t completely surrounded by gushing females.

Much of the interior was in the “re-imagined” realm. Most of Jane’s possessions didn’t make it very far, which makes sense because she was never rich. In fact, according to her will, she had just over 800 pounds to her name when she died, all from book sales. She left most of it to her sister, Cassandra.

So in the spirit or re-imagination, here is the room where Jane and her mother, sister, and sister-in-law took their meals.

See that TINY desk in the upper right corner? THAT my friend is where Jane shook her money maker (pen)!

How in Darcy’s name did she manage with such a small space?! That table wouldn’t hold my drink order! The sign indicated that this was her actual desk. My excuses for not writing are now totally invalid. Can you imagine the piles of papers, the discarded drafts, the ink and pen wiper, all on this table? Let alone some tea. Incredible.

Upstairs is the bedroom Jane shared with Cassandra. How two people slept in a bed this size is yet another pre-Victorian mystery.

Here is a view from her bedroom window.

Many items that may have belonged to the Austen family were displayed, but evidence that they were directly related to Jane was scant. Two of her brothers were Navy men, so there were many paintings of ships and other naval things.

One of the few things that was for sure Jane’s is this shawl, which Jane made herself.

Because our girl had TALENT coming out of her fingers for sure. In the background there is a part of a quilt that Jane, Cassandra, and their mom worked on.

Outside the garden was stylized not as it would have been in Jane’s time (it would have been more functional with vegetables and herbs and such) but in sort of a meandering English garden on the borders, grass in the main space.

Here is the view of the house from the back garden.

Overall it was fun to consider the perspective from Jane’s bedroom, see her work space, and think about her daily life. The museum itself doesn’t have a standard or metric ton of things of Jane’s, but ultimately it didn’t matter. The day was beautiful and the pub across the way was open. Good day all around.

Today I traveled from Heathrow to Ireland and have just checked into my hotel. The taxi driver gave me a map he had stolen from the tour bus company and told me not to bother finding a tour bus (!!) because all the places worth going (he circled them in black pen) are easily walkable from my hotel. I didn’t argue and in fact appreciated his petty theft, but I was looking forward to sitting on a bus and looking passively at things. Now it seems like my conscience will require a more active touring plan. I have several things (some taxi-recommendations, some Pinterest lists) I want to do and see, but, nap first.

The Prince of Denmark

Today in the scorching 17 degree C heat we decided to visit Kronborg Castle, aka Elsinore (Helsigno-with-line-through-it-r in Danske). To do so we had to take the Metro to the train to Helsignor. This proved to be a challenge in that both the metro and the train stop at Norreport, but there is no direct connection–we had to come to the surface and then descend different stairs to switch means of transport. This was irritating and confusing and ROTTEN.

Once we were on the train though I was able to turn the rage down enough to be excited about seeing the setting of Hamlet. In the “summertime,” July and August, there are events at Kronborg, including Hamlet Live, wherein you encounter short scenes from the play as you explore the castle and its grounds.

We knew we had the right place when the train station had this posted.

We stopped at Dad’s favorite restaurant in Denmark, the 7 Eleven, for snacks.

The train station itself was beautiful.

But the real stunner was outside the station.

Bingo!

We crossed two moats to get to the castle.

And the second one…

This is about the time I gave dad a Hamlet refresher (he couldn’t remember if he’d seen it on Wishbone or not), so he was prepared when we saw the scene in the chapel.

That’s Hamlet sneaking up on his uncle, who is kneeling at the altar.

The scenes were brief and spaced out, so we had some time to explore the castle. We arrived as one procession of the scenes was over half way through, so everything was all out of order. Dad said it didn’t matter to him, and it didn’t matter to me either.

The Hamlet-Laertes fencing match was impressive. I can say this sagely because of the five fencing lessons I took from a Groupon Deal (left-handed fencing gloves are hard to find, by the way).

And Polonius’ murder was dramatical enough to scare children (always a pleasant experience for me). I took a professional iphone video of this crime, but free versions of wordpress do not allow video uploads. See instagram for films.

Here is our prince hiding from Polonius, who keeps asking him annoying questions, like What are you reading? and Do you know who I am? Like a madman or something.

The courtyard looks like this, surrounded on all four sides by the castle.

We also ventured down into some sort of tunnel and saw King Hamlet’s Ghost, which was a fairly convincing hologram. I am not saying I’d go kill my uncle, but I’m saying if this ghost told me to, I’d consider it.

Probably my favorite scene was one we stumbled across accidentally as we were leaving. Hamlet, too, came across the grave digger, who spoke some nonsense and then ran away. Hamlet was on the receiving end of crazytalk for once. Look at his expression.

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That’s the grave digger running away on the right.

At times it was a bit campy, but it was necessary to inject more humor than a straight reading would allow. All the actors were great at this. The castle was impressive and the scenes were very well done.

Who could *not* get in the spirit in a place like this?

And it didn’t even start to do that crazy, float up and under your umbrella mist rain in your face until we were on our way back to the hotel, which I thought was decent of the weather to do.

We ate in a little place on Nyhavn, which in case you’ve forgotten looks like this.

Quaint as ever.

Dad is heading back to the USA tomorrow on a scandalously early 6am flight. I am heading to London to see KB at a decent hour (flight is at noon).

Travels with Dad has been different, but I think we’ve been successful. Dad said today that he thinks 2 weeks is his European limit. I am not sure what my limit is, but I’m not quite there yet.

Check back tomorrow.

Riga to Copenhagen

There and back again. We left our hotel in Riga at 8am before dad had finished his first of his usual 4 coffees, so we were both a wreck. We stood in the Every Airline Except Baltic Airline check in line, only to be told this is the Oh And Except Finn Airline Line as well. So we stood in the Finn Airline Line. Then we were told we got bumped from the Finn Air flight and will take Air Baltic. So we stood in the Air Baltic line. By this time I needed to go stand in the WC line as well. After that we stood in the security line. As we neared the front of the security line, dad realized he still had Lil Bro’s loan pocket knife on him, so we had to go stand in the Air Baltic check in line again and check dad’s carry on. We almost drowned in the sweat pouring off dad as he realized he had a knife in his pocket, but we somehow survived to stand in the security line again and were still in time to go stand in the booze line where we felt right at home.

Back in Copenhagen we hopped on the now familiar train to the central station and took a taxi to our hotel. I took a nap and dad had a sandwich by the canal. For dinner we had 5 types of herring and other less interesting things.

Dad’s favorite was the maroon and my favorite was the purple.

We ate along the Nyhavn Canal under heat lamps and jackets. Another beautiful summer day.

Nyhavn is still adorable. Observe.

I found watermelon ice cream on the walk home, so that happened.

We can see the groovy spiral acid flashback church from a distance near our hotel.

Tomorrow is Dad’s last full day abroad so we are going to fulfill his lifelong dream of going to HAMLET’S CASTLE!!!!!!!!!! YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Another day another country

Yesterday we travelled from Hamburg to Riga, Latvia, by plane (I was able to talk Dad down from he We Have To Take a Ferry insanity), but our flight wasn’t until after 7pm (19:00) so we had time in Hamburg to continue to enjoy the LGBTQ Pride street fair, which included hamburgers and a lot of really upbeat music. Every other street vendor was selling cocktails before noon. I had to pry dad away from this scene so we could see a few more sights, including city hall. I particularly liked city hall because there were plenty of benches.

We then walked down to the warehouse district, which is is prettier than it sounds.

The warehouses are made of brick and are separated by canals, as you can see.

It was an excellent day (barely a threat of rain), so walking so far from our hotel wasn’t as much of a gamble as usual.

We walked down to the Maritime Museum, where the largest collection of model boats is housed. Yes, one is made completely of legos. Also included are many beautiful paintings of nautical scenes. They basically look either like this

or like something seriously nasty is about to happen (not pictured). I particularly enjoyed the harpoons and knots.

Doesn’t the knot on the lower left look like a sea scorpion?

We also paid our respects to Leif, who sort of discovered America.

Not to be outdone, Columbus motions to the sun to settle down.

We took the train from our hotel to the main train station (our hotel was just outside the train station and it was very easy), but from the main train station the right train to the airport was a little confusing. The platform said airport, the train display said airport, but some displays said “first three cars.” Well, we weren’t sure if it was the first three cars from the engine or the first three cars from the platform and you better bet we guessed wrong. After several stops, the train paused for an unusually long time at the stop just before the airport. Another passenger, probably noticing our luggage and English, asked if we were going to the airport because if so the first three cars just left us. We jumped off the train to watch the first three cars scuttle off as though they’d just pulled the funniest prank on Earth. I should have known and I guess this makes Dad and me even for our trip through rural Sweden.

We got on the first car of the next train.

The main train station was much, much more bustling than the airport, which seems so strange to me. At any rate we checked our bags and had plenty of time before we boarded the bus to board the tiny plane to Riga. Many of the other passengers were men my age with long hair and rock band tee shirts. We guessed they were coming from a show (they were all pretty drained). Customs through Riga was a breeze as it was just walking by a lady leaning against a desk that had a “Customs” sign. Our taxi driver to the hotel was at least 7 feet tall. Dad fell asleep immediately.

Total miles walked: 6.7

Today was our first day in Riga, which is a small, flat (read: walkable) city. We found a post office and a bus tour without having to ask anyone, much to our mutual relief.

Here we are on the bus before I Hulk Broke the headphones.

We got off at the canal stop and then got on a boat with a five-year-old girl named Megan who objected to her life vest by protesting that she promised she wouldn’t get in the water anyway because she didn’t want to get her hair wet. The boat took us through the canal and into Daugava River. From here is a great view of their wedge-shaped library.

Here we are on the boat.

On a side note dad only looks happy when he doesn’t know I’m taking a picture. As in above, when I ask first, he gives this are-you-serious face. Candids from now on when possible.

After the canal tour we walked around old town and came across a few sights I’d read about on the fountain of information that is Pinterest.

We looked inside the Riga Cathedral.

Much stained glass and ornate molding, of course.

While I was taking photos like this one, Dad was busy documenting the retrofitting on the load-bearing columns.

We were also able to pretty easily find the Freedom Monument.

Latvia became a free country in 1991.

This small memorial is from the Baltic Way, when people from Estonia through Latvia to Lithuania joined hands for freedom in 1989.

We also came across this statue of a donkey, pig, cat, and rooster. It is supposed to be good luck if you can touch all four. The statue is tall though and I could reach only the donkey and pig. Half luck for me, half something else I guess.

I also serendipitously spotted the house of the black cat, which I think is just like every other house except that way back when the owner was trying to join the city’s guild, he was denied, so he put a black cat sculpture on top of his house and faced the cat’s rear end at the guild’s office. The guild relented, the home owner was admitted, and the cat’s ass now faces a different way.

As far as lore goes, this story seems watered down. I bet there is a REAL version out there somewhere.

Anyway, I remembered from the tour bus narration something about the house of the three brothers, so I was trying to guide us by it as we made our way back to the hotel. The streets here are anything but a symmetrical grid, so it is easy to trapezoid yourself out of orientation. Dad and I walked up a block, around it, looked at the map, but neither of us could see anything noteworthy or any signage. We didn’t notice the gaggle of tourists across the street aiming their cameras at us. We didn’t notice when a tour tram came up, stopped, unload a bunch of people who also took our picture, load up again, and then trammed off. We held the map upside down. We looked up and down the street. We tried to remember what the house of the three brothers even was and why it was mentioned on the tour. I noticed finally that a) the people across the street weren’t moving b) they seemed pissed at us, and I put together that we were right at the house of the three brothers. I took a picture of what everyone else seemed to be photographing:

As far as houses in Riga go, this one seemed pretty plain, but who am I to judge? I think things built before 1950 are old.

Now that I’m back at the hotel I did a quick search and realized that my map and/or memory was a poor translation. It isn’t house of the three brothers, but rather the Three Brothers, three consecutive houses that are the oldest in Riga and represent the three major architectural themes. So as it happens i took a picture of the One Brother. And the homeliest one at that.

Finally we had dinner at B-Bar, a place we chose because of its Black Balsam drinks. Black Balsam is a Latvian liquor made from, among many other things, wormwood. So either it was all a bit of hype and we made it back to the hotel ok OR this is the most G-rated trip ever and I am face down in a beautiful cobblestone ally waiting to be awakened by the street cleaner.

Category: Plane