Airbnb – paralyzedbynotcaring

Helpful Items, Part II

The advice “travel light” is not without merit, but I do recommend considering packing the following items for any extended trip. I was either glad I brought this stuff or had to buy it on the fly.

Hand Fan

Yes, it rained A LOT during my trip, but there was enough sun and heat to make a spur-of-the-moment purchase of a street vendor hand fan a life-changing event. Even if it’s not that warm outside, walking for miles and hauling your pack around is sweaty work. And buses? Sweaty. Very, very sweaty. A/C is not so much of a thing in Europe as it is here, so you have to make your own wind, just like Tyra Banks intended.

Pocket Mirror

Another golden impulse buy—the pocket mirror saved me from countless embarrassments. Blotting my sweaty face with paper napkins almost always shredded the napkin and left huge pieces of lint fluttering on my face. And with the wind and rain, everyone needs to know what the hell is going on with their hair before they step into a nice restaurant. Also, you can signal people with sunlight if you get bored.

Scarf

You may have noticed I am not especially fashion minded. Probably this is due to the fact that fashionable clothing is not made in my a) size or b) budget, so I have given up and wear basically the same thing every day. Yes, I brought six identical black tank tops to Europe. Not having to worry about putting together an outfit only gave me more time to explore and eat new foods. I brought a scarf, but it wasn’t an infinity scarf and kept falling off. I gave up on it and bought an infinity scarf from a street vendor at the gay pride event in Hamburg. Dad loved shopping there so it was extra special. My advice, bring one or two infinity scarves to change up your wardrobe. They won’t fall off and you’ll look at least slightly different in your pictures. Plus, they are light and easy to pack.

Umbrella
Invest in one that won’t turn inside out and backwards. I never found one.

Dry Shampoo
*Cue the Hallelujah music* Dry Shampoo! If you haven’t already joined the dry shampoo revolution, you have a wonderful surprise in store. You do not have to be a slave to long showers and the hairdryer anymore. I use this brand, which I recommend if you can stomach the price. This brand is less expensive and nearly as effective, though dry shampoo in general can smell and feel gnarly. Try a few out before you decide what works for you. If the first three or four do not work—DO NOT GIVE UP. There are loads of options, and the time and energy saved by using dry shampoo cannot be overstated. Still not convinced? Observe the picture above. That’s 4th or possibly 5th day hair. This is my life now. I can’t imagine getting up an hour earlier every day to wash, condition, gel, mousse, protect, dry, then curl my hair. Forget it.

Eye shade
I am a napper, so using an eye shade is nothing new to me. I used an eye shade on the plane and a few trains, but it mostly came in handy in my actual Airbnbs as I was trying to sleep at night—it stayed lighter A LOT later in northern Europe and it screwed up my sleeping schedule (go to sleep early and sleep in as late as possible). This particular shade has convex areas for your eyelashes so you don’t wake up with bedhead on your face.

Pocket Kleenex
This one is probably pretty obvious, but I went through a lot more Kleenex than I thought I would. Pack triple what you think you need. I ended up using this not only for sneezes, but for napkins, blotting paper, and toilet paper.

Handkerchief
I had my dad bring me an actual handkerchief because I was going through so much Kleenex just blotting my face. A handkerchief is greener, classier, and won’t leave lint all over your lip hairs.

Benedryl
So they don’t have the same drugs in Europe. For over the counter stuff, bring what you like to use, but also bring Benedryl. You never know what exciting new pollen you’ll be allergic to, and Benedryl can double as a sleep aid.

Books
I brought The Stand and Daisy Miller and Other Stories knowing I’d trash them or leave them behind as I finished them. The Stand was very satisfying to finish because it cleared up so much room in my bag. Bring a few paperbacks you know will be entertaining but not lifelong companions. I bought a few books while on the road, too, trying to keep this same philosophy.

Things I Thought I’d Use But Didn’t

Compass
I brought a small compass, but I used the compass app on my phone almost exclusively. I forgot I even had a real compass.

Reusable Water Bottle
I was gung-ho to go green and use this collapsible water bottle, but ultimately it just made more sense to reuse regular water bottles, and then recycle them when they became unwieldy.

Bungee
Several travel blogs suggested this adjustable cord to help you hang your laundry, but I never needed it. The Airbnbs always had a rack or a lot of closet space where I could hang things to dry.

Earplugs
I am an earplugs advocate, and even though there were some loud nights, I didn’t like using the ear plugs when I was travelling—I wanted to be alerted to the noises around me. The exception was when Dad and I shared a hotel room. He snores. A lot.

Inflatable Travel Neck Pillow
I love the idea of this pillow and used it on my redeye from SFO to Madrid, but I never really fell asleep. The pillow shifts ever so slightly as you finally relax your neck on to it, even when the pillow is secured in front. It’s just not that comfortable. I do like that I could deflate it to take up less space in my bag, though, and for that reason alone it is superior to other U-shaped travel pillows.

Take what you will from this. Remember, whatever you packed is what’s going with you.

Helpful Items, Part I

Being away from your comfort zone and all your usual comfort objects eventually becomes stressful. For me it was stressful after about 40 minutes. Here are some things I packed that made travelling a bit easier.

Portable cell phone charger
This was a life saver. If you take only one thing I recommend, take this. My phone was my map and my notepad and my audio book player, so I was using it constantly. Like any cell phone these days, my iPhone 6s does not have a great battery life. I combated the dwindling % gauge with this portable charger, which holds 2-3 full charges before it has to be recharged itself. Now, the charging isn’t super fast and having your phone connected to it as you use your phone to navigate can be a bit of a tangled pain when you are also using earphones, but the alternative is death. The only drawback is the grey cord this portable charger uses to charge itself is small, unique to this device (no regular old USB cord will do) and easy to lose. Do what I did and keep all your cords in the same gallon ziplock bag.

Gallon Ziplock Bags
Yes, there are many bags out there for holding your makeup, toiletries, shoes, food, and whatever, but I quickly found that being able to see into the bag saved a lot of time and frustration. I packed about six Ziplock bags and had Dad bring me six more when he met me in Copenhagen (they don’t last forever and once a shampoo explodes, that bag is pretty done with life). I would recommend at least bringing a dozen. They are lightweight, take up almost no space, and it’s much better to have them and not need them.

Travel Adapter
I brought two of these travel adapters and they worked everywhere I went (Spain, France, Belgium, Netherlands, Germany, Czech Republic, Denmark, Latvia, England, and Ireland—I didn’t charge anything in Sweden so I can’t be sure they would work there). You can use the usual two- or three- pronged electric plug and/or a regular USB. I had to figure out how to use all the different prongs in the back—or maybe VR helped me—but once I had that down, it was all good. I am glad I brought two so I could charge all of my items overnight if I wanted/needed to. The only problem is these are a bit bulky.

Earbuds
Bring at least two pairs. I went through three—using them for hours every day inevitably lead to their untimely demise. Don’t buy expensive ones like I did. Just get some cheap ones from the checkout counter at Walgreens.

International Cell Phone
I wasn’t going to bring one of these—it seemed excessively over-prepared to do so, but I ended up using my international cell phone a lot when some one ripped off my ATM number and my debit card was rendered inactive. Calling Wells Fargo was a horrible experience, and I can’t imagine how much more stressful it would have been had I not even had a phone to do so with. I got the JT phone on the suggestion of CC, and am REALLY glad I did. You just add more minutes as needed by buying more on their website. This of course requires a credit card—luckily I had another one as I was going through the Wells Fargo malarkey.

Tablet
I brought two phones, a laptop, and a tablet with me, which even to me seemed like too much. I thought bringing my Kindle was a bit indulgent, but it actually was one of my most soothing comfort objects in that I could watch American television via Netflix or Amazon Prime. Sometimes at the end of a long day of culture and history I just needed to watch Teen Wolf.

Woolite Individual Laundry Packets
Staying in Airbnbs with a washer available saved a lot of time and stress—I can barely function in an American laundromat, imagine me dealing with a soap dispenser machine that doesn’t even speak English. No thank you. Filter your Airbnb search to places with washers available (dryers too if you’re not staying more than a few days—laundry needs at least 24 hours to air dry in my experience) and have these handy packets with you. Woolite is gentle on your clothes and works with all fabrics (all that I wear, anyway). I definitely used less laundry soap as I was travelling so as to ration these, but if you pack enough, you can use the usual excessive amount. Also, even if you don’t have a washer, one packet of Woolite will do for a quick wash of your underthings in the sink and the crotch area of your jeans. One relevant thing I noticed: many European places have heated racks for hanging laundry to dry on. They may actually just be towel warmers, but I used them to speed the drying process.

Antibacterial Gel
I didn’t end up using as much antibac as I thought I would, but there were definite times I was desperate to de-germ. I would pack two or three of these (I ended up losing one and another one was taken at the airport because GASP! LIQUID!) for those especially dirty moments.

More essential items on the way.

Travel Apps, Part I

Traveling without reliable internet access made for quite an adventure—if you can afford keeping your phone plan with data as you travel, do it. I wish I would have just spent the money and then had access to all my pins and bookmarks and ideas as I was on the go. That being said, even without the internet, certain phone apps were extremely helpful and I recommend you download all of them before you travel.

Google maps

With Google maps, you can download the map of a city while you have wifi and then access that map any time. You probably already have this app downloaded, so this one is sort of a no brainer. I used Google maps in every city with very little, if any, difficulty. Sometimes the app could even track my location on the map WITHOUT WIFI. This was of course mind blowing for me and so convenient I almost felt comfortable. Almost.

Compass
There is an app called “Compass” and it is just that—a digital arrow pointing north. I used this all the time to orient myself before I set off. I very much want to know in what direction my accommodations are in relation to a large landmark if possible, and this free app never failed, with or without wifi.

Yelp
Again, you probably already use Yelp on your phone. Now, without wifi Yelp can be pretty useless, but if you have time before you are out and about, you can plan your snack stops based on the map function on Yelp’s bookmarks page. Bookmark the places you want to visit—Yelp has basically everything—and then view your bookmarks in map form rather than list form. Note the addresses and you can plug them in to Google maps while you’re out for specific directions. Bam, done. The only city that did not have Yelp was Riga, Latvia, but that’s okay because there was

TripAdvisor
TripAdvisor is like Yelp’s older brother who’s been working on his PhD for over a decade and knows a metric ton of stuff if you just know what to ask. TripAdvisor was a great complement to Yelp and many times had more specific reviews, particularly for hotels. You can filter the reviews by key word (mine were always “wifi,” “noise,” “safe,” and “clean,” if you don’t know how I roll already) and also read the responses from the hotel staff. TripAdvisor has great lists of things to do in each city. After the first page or two of obvious choices—Eiffel Tower, Notre Dame Cathedral, Louvre—you get a lot of info on the different types of tours available. This was useful to me when I was trying to figure out how to get to Stonehenge from London. Had I not used TripAdvisor, I probably would have just taken a bus from the tourist office and saw only the henge. As it turns out, I found a tour that included Avebury, which was just as special as Stonehenge and sort of on the way. TripAdvisor requires wifi though, so do your searching at night when you’re in your

Airbnb
The Airbnb website and app can be convoluted, so spend some time learning the filters and pages before you’re on the road. The app helped with communicating with my hosts, though a lack of wifi can interfere with that. Overall, using the app was far easier than the website for quick emails to my hosts—and I found myself doing that at least once per stop. Note: with only one exception, my Airbnb accommodations had MUCH BETTER wifi then hotels. The trade off is you can leave the hotel room a total disaster, but you better clean up and wipe down everything before you leave an Airbnb.

Overdrive, Audible, Kindle
Overdrive is a audiobook app (like Audible) that connects to your existing library card (unlike Audible). Once you download Overdrive and sign in with your library card information, you can access the library’s catalogue of audiobooks (and ebooks, if you are an alien and can read whole novels on a screen) for free. Both Overdrive and Audible require wifi to search and download new material, but once you download a book, you don’t have to have wifi to listen to it. Audible is a monthly subscription service for audiobooks—for a fee you can download one book per month. If you want more, you can buy individual books in addition to your monthly allotment. I cancelled Audible for the duration of my travels, so I didn’t pay the monthly fee but could still access the books I had already paid for. I had several to choose from, and, with Overdrive, was able to listen to many books as I rode the rails or waited for buses. I listened to music as well, but the majority of the time I listened to audiobooks. I have the Kindle app and occasionally read through the chapter of Rick Steve’s Europe Through the Back Door relevant to my next destination, but I don’t like reading ebooks and could do this in short doses only. Also, Rick Steves is annoying.

Pinterest
If you already like Pinterest, you are going to love it when you travel. I made Wanderlust board and throw all sorts of ideas on it before I left. Pinterest is great for finding travel bloggers who have very specific suggestions (“9 Free Things to Do in Dublin!”), including where to get gooey chocolate cookies in Amsterdam (Van Staple Koekmakerij, if you’re interested). Using Pinterest in conjunction with Yelp, TripAdvisor, and Google maps helped me figure out my day plan based on what food I want to eat—err and the famous places I might want to take pictures of. The bloggers of the internet can be hard to filter, but Pinterest helps. If you don’t already love Pinterest, it can be a hard app to learn on the go if it’s not your jam. Stick with Yelp and TripAdvisor.

Facebook Messenger
fullsizerender Keeping in contact with people is dicey on the road. Most of my contacts have Facebook and by extension Facebook Messenger, so this was a natural choice. With the exception of Lil Bro, who is too low key for Facebook and preferred to use Viber, I checked in with everyone using FB messenger. It’s easy and probably most people you’re going to send 3AM humble brags to already have it.

That’s it for apps that help you find things to do and then tell people about them. Next time I’ll list some logistically important apps I wish I would have known about sooner!

Locked in the basement

My airbnb is a basement studio in a normal Prague apartment building. I have the external key, the mail key, and the studio key. There is however a door from lobby to the staircase to the basement that I was told is rarely locked, but my external key should open it if it happens to be locked.

It was locked this morning as I ascended out of the cave. The light in the staircase is motion detected, so it kept flicking off as I turned the key first clockwise, then counter clockwise, then half clockwise and full counter, then flip it and reverse it, then pull the door shut more tightly and try again, then jiggle everything, then start sweating, then continue sweating, then keep sweating so that a decent grip on the keys is impossible, then imagine being locked in a basement in Prague and going feral, then jiggling the keys more until someone happens by and opens the door from the lobby.

After that episode of Fear Factor, I went back to try the strudel version of the trdelnik, which was tasty but even more of a challenge to eat. It wasn’t even noon and I was already through two challenges.

The Old Town Square was as picturesque as ever.

I went to the Prague Castle, which is the largest castle complex in Europe. It really is a complex–many different types of buildings in a sort of ye olde business park. By far the most beautiful was the St. Vitus Cathedral, which, and I can’t stress this enough, is large.

It’s bigger on the inside.

As you might imagine, there are many beautiful statues and windows of stained glass. My favorite stained glass window is this one.

And wouldn’t you know it, another depiction of the giant holding Jesus’s body on the cross, this time in silver with many embellishments.

At least in this one he looks like he feels guilty for showing up a bit too late.

Also in the complex is St. George’s Basilica, which houses these bones.

When the top three google search results didn’t include whose bones these are, I abandoned the project, making this the shortest episode of CSI ever. You’re welcome.

Part of the castle was built by the Empress Maria Theresa–that’s right, Marie Antoinette’s mom was always hard at work. This was when the Habsburgs of Austria were all over Prussia.

Look what I found there.

Fifty points to Gryffindor!

Also abounding were sharp objects.

And the inspiration for Nimbly from the Never Ending Story II!

Now it is time for my final challenge of the day, which occurred on my bastion of safety, the dear old tour bus. I was sitting in the front of the bus so I could see out the windshield and hear the tour guide easily. The tour guide was joking with the driver about asking out a female tour guide when a car cut in front of us and the bus came to a sudden and jarring halt. I was thrown from the window seat to the aisle seat, where thankfully no one was sitting. The driver of the car that cut into our lane rolled down his window and started yelling and gesturing at the bus. The tour guide and the driver then ran out of the bus and chased the car down. It was a total scene from cops except no cops. The keys to the bus were still in the ignition so I drove the battered tourists to safety JOKE there’s no place safe. Haven’t you learned that from my blog yet? I didn’t have to drive us anywhere because the driver in the car fled the scene to much yelling and fist gesturing of the tour team and honking from nearby cars. It was all very manly.

The narration from the tour guide was more heavily accented from then on.

I went to Sephora to buy some sanity.

I found a Sephora

There is a deathly dearth of Sephoras that people don’t warn you about. It’s like the opposite of a plague but twice as ugly. On the tram from my Airbnb to the Old Town Square, while I am diligently reading each tram stop in true Rain Man fashion, I see the familiar white and black stripes and gasp. This is the same reaction other people might people have when they see the Charles Bridge or the Castle or whatever. The Sephora was a good omen, because almost immediately afterwards, I found the trdelnik:

Oh boy. This is something new: a warm thin doughnut dough rolled in cinnamon and filled with soft serve ice cream. You cold also fill it with strudel filling and whipped cream or any combination of many things. Though this resulted in endless crumbs (still finding them) and a sticky everything, good god it was worth it.Eating it was like living art.

After I plowed that down and went into a sugar coma, I found the bus tour. Yes! This bus had A/C (sort of)!

We saw some sights and stopped at some points to take ho hum pictures like this one.

We drove by the Dancing Building, which is modeled after Fred and Ginger. Guess which is whom.

We also passed the church of my favorite saint, Mr. Ignatius.

It was around this point that our tour guide let on that the president of the Czech republic has a reputation for speaking publicly while intoxicated and that there is a fun internet game that provides a quote and the player must decide whether it originated with the Czech president or our Mr. Trump. Everyone laughed and then opened a vein and then threw themselves off the Charles Bridge.

I did a bit of walking around and a lot of city streets. A lot of buildings are adorned by fancy molding or sculptures or busts or reliefs like this craziness:

I don’t know why. I came across a street market and bought a cheap fan for the impending death by heatwave scheduled to start tomorrow.

I walked across a bridge and took pictures and took pictures for other people, after which I was sure to leave before they were able to figure out that I could see nothing through anyone’s display screen and hoped for the best like a true artist.

Across the bridge and through the park I found the John Lennon Memorial Wall. It has even more graffiti than the East Side Gallery of the Berlin Wall, but this one didn’t seem as disrespectful. Maybe because there was a barefoot musician taking requests with his guitar. Can you imagine how many times he must have to sing certain songs? I requested something by The Who, but I was informed I’d have to provide my own lyrics. Serves me right probably.

I learned this pose from FL.

From the JL wall I made my way to the Charles Bridge, a pedestrian-only tourist magnet. There are many statues along the bridge, and it is apparently customary to take a picture of every. single. one. I have to say by this time my hands were tired and decided on two statues.

This first one is probably a giant saint holding killed Jesus’ freshly dead body, still attached to the crucifix. This wins for weirdest Jesus of the day. Where was this giant when the deaths were going down? Fe fi fo gtfo, boom, Jesus saved. The bible is so crazy this way.

Notice the lighter areas on the two lower panels. People kept coming up and petting these areas, which may explain their color–I don’t know and I’m afraid to Google it. I petted the dog on the left as it seemed more… seemly.

The other statue on the bridge that made the cut is this almost autobiographical piece.

Friends: Please hang out with us! You are so fun and smart and hilarious! Don’t leave yet! We love you the best! Please!

Me: Sorry I have three books, and I have to get my beard waxed, bai. (Not a joke, AL).

If you thought there were to be no more pictures of statues, you were mistaken, because this crazy thing is the first thing you see when you get off the bridge.

FullSizeRender-1

I feel like he’s inviting me to reenact with him that pivotal chalice scene in Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade.

One good thing about Prague that I didn’t know is that if bridges and skylines and sculptures don’t do it for you, you can always just make your own fun.

The return walk to the tram was a bit meandering after I realized the stop I used this morning does not have a stop for the reverse direction, so I lingered to observe the sun and river while trying to forget that taking a taxi in Prague isn’t usually the best alternative to trams.

And of course I ran into this gentleman.

Alien? Demon? Doppelganger?

Don’t judge. This is what happens when I don’t have regular access to a Sephora.

I am reading Daisy Miller and Princesses Behaving Badly by Linda Rodriguez McRobbie.

Garden walk

The sun decided to make a summer appearance today so I walked to the nearby park at Vysehrad. Parks in Europe contain, you know, just a Basilica and a river and statues and stuff. No big deal.

This is the St. Peter and Paul Basilica. It was too large to take a proper picture of, but here’s the top part. The park is full of pathways, gardens, BENCHES, and stairs. The benches make up for the stairs, for the most part. On the west side of the park, a brick lookout allows for some stunning views.

Loads of people were milling around eating ice cream and taking sticky pictures like this one.

That’s the river Vltava shielded by my round face. There are lots of dogs in Prague as well, particularly small dogs. They like to pee on statues like this one.

After walking around the park–I didn’t see the whole park but I think I climbed every staircase at least twice–I went to have lunch. I had pork knuckles, which are surprisingly tender. Unfortunately my credit card (not the ATM card I’ve had to stop using) was declined, causing another full blown panic attack. This meant I had no card at all that would work, and I had to pay with my limited cash. Instead of pushing forward and walking to the Faust House, where Mephistopheles dragged our humble doctor, I came back to my airbnb to figure out my life. Apparently my credit card is fine and the card reader at the restaurant was to blame. This made me feel slightly better, but by this time my sweat pants were on so Faust will have to wait until tomorrow. I must say I am not pleased at having to deal with first the train craziness and strikes and delays and now not knowing what’s going to happen with my own money. For a sabbatical this has been stressful. Don’t be surprised if a future post is from an asylum.

Travel day

Another day another country. Taxi to train to metro to tram to walking in the rain to not being able to discern a few characters on the hand-written wifi information card.

Oh, and guns.

This is a picture of two well-armed German policemen checking documents at the Dresden main train station. Someone with a bigger camera is taking a film of it between me and the interaction. I have to say that the police in Europe carry far larger weaponry than police on the beat in CA. The police guns here have to be held with both hands.

The sightseeing tour bus in Prague has some pretty scathing reviews on TripAdvisor so now I really can’t wait to check it out.

Czech out this body of water I saw from the train.

Now observe how scientifically I failed at reading numbers and letters.

I couldn’t figure out what the wifi code was. That’s right, my conclusion was “?”

For those of you who don’t know, my dad is planning on meeting me at the end of July or beginning of August in Copenhagen. He does not have the internet, so all of my logistical questions are being funneled through lil bro, who has to call dad on a LAND LINE and ask. I am not sure why this isn’t the system everywhere because there have been no misunderstandings and we all love each other VERY MUCH.

I am reading Lean In by Sheryl Sandberg and Daisy Miller and Other Whatevers by Henry James.

“Hang ‘abroad’! Stay at home and do things here.” ~Henry James

God and art and banks and tears

Today I went to the gallery in Zwinger, which is three stories of paintings and sculptures. I was unsure if pictures were allowed, so I had to take the obligatory snap of the best painting of Jesus on the DL.

This is baby Jesus accepting a pimp cup from the Magi. Magi know how to get down.

There are lots of other pieces of art I liked. One in particular was painted with very dark colors and impossible to take a pic of, but it was of Beatrice hiding and listening to Hero and Ursula “talk.” It was refreshing to see a) a story I knew well depicted and b) not Greek or Christian.

This portrait of Our Lady of Decadence also caught my eye–Marie Antoinette of course.

Notice how the painter included me in the background–so modern! Let’s not forget that she charmed European countries into helping us bloody colonialists fight the British. Respect the cake.

This museum is known for this work by Rafael. Does it seem familiar?

Does it?

I’ll let you think about that while I go to dinner and have dumplings.

German food is delightfully salty and filling. I also enjoyed the decor.

Unfortunately when I ordered NOT mineral water, I got SPARKLING mineral water, which is doubly bad. It tastes like medicine for the disease of life. I drank it anyway because while I was in the museum, I left my pack at the coat check and someone went in there and loosened the water bottle cap and let it leak all over my everything and so I had no water. Soggy train tickets are stuck to my umbrella now.

After this glorious meal I visited the Church of our Lady. It is quite a building. Here it is with Martin Luther and another one of his damn books. I decided to climb to the top of the dome (only 8 Euros!)

It’s not as tall as the tower in Bruges, right? I’ll be fine, right?

I start out and it’s going pretty good. Look how new and reasonable these stairs are.

Ok go a little farther, and it gets a bit narrower. No big deal.

Now ascend the ramp around the perimeter of the dome. It’s only a 60 degree angle what’s you problem why are you panting and sweating and crying?

You better woman up because now there is a ladder.

Ladders don’t take any shit, believe me. And you’ve got to be close, right?

Yes, just a few of these ellipses and

Don’t look down and

Boom! This view of Dresden–

And this view of the inner dome.

And of the teeny tiny people attending the services below.

The view from the top is pretty spectacular, and no one else was up there so I got to enjoy it without photobombing some other tourist’s panorama.

Across from the church and down a bit is the Opera, with that statue of a horse and a man I’ve posted before.

Nearby is the Hilton, which has an ATM in its lobby. I went to make a withdraw but was denied–this was particularly irritating because yesterday I had the same problem and called my bank and was told the hold was lifted. Also, I am lower on cash today than I was even yesterday when I had a super fun panic attack. Another call to the bank (3 actually, because my international phone kept dropping the call) revealed a significant amount had been drained from my account, and I had to do an unemotional reckoning for all my transactions for the last week. It was not fun and someone in Berlin has a lot of my money. A. Lot. Let’s delay the rage about how this person could access my money but I could not, and the righteous indignation about how this person will likely never be caught. Just keep that smoldering in your pocket for now and deal with the logistical issues–how do I get cash? Many places here are cash only, notably the taxis and buses, which I will need to travel into Prague in two days. My bank has no international relations, so I am totally on my own until a new ATM card is delivered to my airbnb in Prague. I did make the bank lady cry, so at least I have that.

This post is dedicated to RS for coming through with a wire and remaining cool as I turned into a ragecake.

This picture is for her.

Time to call Dr. A!

I’m drunk here’s some pictures

Today I walked a bunch of miles in the wrong direction and finally asked a human how to get to the theaterplaz. She spoke hurried German, pulled a cheese cutter from her purse (I swear), grabbed my arm, and then pushed me into the street.

It gets weirder.

I later realized that the bus stop I wanted is nicknamed “the cheese” which semi explains the cheese cutter, but how was it in her purse? Really?

Just now I’ve come back from the Italian restaurant down the block and they have martinis there that come garnished with a tiny orange tomato every time. Consequently here is a picture-heavy blog post.

First here is the crown on top of the zwinger.

Here is a fountain and a head.

Happy to be on the bus tour.

Here is a somewhat elaborate timepiece.

Here is a two-horse power contraption that our bus was trapped behind.

Technology prevailed.

But they like horses here.

I think this is a guy with a 1st gen ipad and the tiger from the Hangover.

And Jack Skellington asking What’s THIS?

Here’s just a regular house no big deal.

And I didn’t see the DEMON but I did find this hood rat.

I broke two nails trying to unlock my airbnb door so here I go to lie down before more tragedy.

Inter-German travel

You may recall I mentioned that my train ride from Berlin to Dresden would be short and not have any transfers. These are both true, but it also managed to be the most uncomfortable train ride so far.

I know, I can barely believe it myself. It ended in tears before it even began–err it began in tears. It doesn’t matter–it made an old lady cry (not me).

At Berlin HBF (main train station) I stood around the departure board for an hour waiting for my train to display which track it will be departing from (no benches). It wasn’t listed until about 25 minutes before departure. This is not convenient for me for so many reasons, no the least of which is my get-there-early neuroses. Another of which is that this station is four stories and full of stores. It’s basically a mall with trains. So you could be three stories away from where your train is going to depart and have only 25 minutes to fight the crowd, lug your suitcases, figure out where the track is, and get there. If this seems like plenty of time, you’ve never seen my walking pace.

When the train finally displayed I had that familiar problem that my ticket had only MY destination, not the train’s destination, so I had to do some cross referencing and no-internet research (aka talking to people). Don’t forget to schedule that into your 25 minutes. After I’d been waiting at the platform (standing, no benches, can I just complain about how there are so few benches at a train station? Don’t people get there with bags and crap and then have to wait? How are there not enough benches? People were sitting on the floor. It was not ok. Put in some benches, good grief) and an echoed German PA reverberated across the tracks. Some people in my crowd started shuffling away. An English translation followed: the platform for my train had changed. Time to move again! Yay!

The train was late and people were clamoring to get on. I had an assigned seat on car 259. I wish the cars on the train were more numerically sound (idk, maybe #1-12?), because 259 wasn’t that easy to find and I didn’t have a lot of time or space to look. The crowd was bottle-necked between the train and the staircase and everyone was sweating like this was some other German train. I had to run down the platform after breaking away from the crowd and push my way on to the train before the doors closed. Everyone else did the same. No one was on the right car. The narrow aisles within the train were jam packed with people trying to pass each other with all their gear when the train started to move. The lady behind me, old enough to be my grandmother, had a tissue over her face. She was shocked the train would leave before she could sit down. I was pretty indignant at the lack of organization myself, but now I am far too jaded to be shocked. I looked at her ticket and discovered we were heading in the same direction, so I told her she could follow in my wake of destruction. She didn’t laugh so she must be German.

When I finally pushed and ducked and jumped my way to my seat, people in the area near me were complaining that more tickets than seats were sold, so that is why the aisles were crowded with lingerers like on a rush hour subway commute, except with luggage. Germany totally wins for most disorganized country. It took me about 40 minutes to push my way to my seat, so the 2 hour ride passed pretty quickly once I was sitting with my luggage in my lap (there was no room on the racks and the aisles were already full of people).

I did manage to bail off the train in Dresden (no easy feat with the aisles still full) and found not only sunshine but a delightful lack of crowds. It is even less crowded in my airbnb where I have been recovering my nerves.

I miss having a car.

Category: Airbnb