I lucked out with the weather today and was able to walk the streets without having to avoid the rain. My first stop was the Musée des Beaux-Arts; as I descended the bus at in front of the museum, I was overwhelmed yet again by soccer fans.
Broken Heineken bottles were all over the sidewalk. Men dressed in green were yelling and singing and eating pizza. That guy on the right was hell on wheels. Finally I escaped into the museum where, for 4 euros, I could sit and stare at art.
Here is some art to star at.
I believe this is baby Jesus pretending to be happy to get flowers when what he really wanted was a bottle. He really was a saint.
Here is another one I couldn’t stop narrating.
What the hell is going on here. I think it might be from Greek mythology or General Hospital.
Center Man: This dress is hers. I was just modeling it to amuse her child.
Left Man: This doesn’t seem on the level. I’m out.
Right Man: I thought we were going to get lunch…?
Woman: MY child? I should have swiped left.
Baby: I just want a head in proportion to my body!
Honestly with so many Jesuses out there, all these pictures start to look pretty similar. I started to skim over the paintings until I came upon this masterpiece.
That is MEAT! Meat, glorious meat! See, people have been capturing images of their food since long before Instagram.
Here are some modern images of food.
I found a bakery.
What’s that? You want a side angle?
This is me enjoying the view of all the sugar.
After I was sufficiently sugared I walked around and looked around. It miraculously wasn’t raining and I managed to see the cathedral, which is massive.
There are also a bunch of archways throughout the city. Each one seems to commemorate a victory of some kind. You’d never know the French had ever lost so much as a bet with all these arches standing around.
Yes that is actual honest to god sunshine. I was very happy as evidenced in this picture.
Feelin pretty good, walking up Victor Hugo Street and feeling all smart until I see this.
On the one hand I appreciate that it’s in English…
Until I see THIS
THE MARK OF THE BEAST! THE BEAST IS FRONT-FOLLOWING ME!
(Front-following is when someone copies what you were clearly going to do had you had the time to do it yet, as in when a former classmate front-followed me into writing a gothic romance novel. It’s very annoying and almost impossible to prove as the very nature of front-followers is to make YOU look like the stalker. Infuriating.)
So, as I pack up for tomorrow’s journey to Bruges, Belgium, I have to wonder where the beast is lurking. I will be ever vigilant if one can be vigilant with this much wine.
paralyzedbynotcaring 